Choices and Life

Just imagine getting a text saying that you are invited to the most grand event ever but after a while you realised that you have a meet up with your friends. Would you stood up your friends going to the event which  is a luxury? Or would you go to the meet up for the sake of the true comradery. This is when you are required to put your thinking hat on to make the right decision.

If you were to be an adult making such decision would not be as easy as when you were a child. I would say   when I was a child the hardest decision I ever made was when I had to choose whether to go with my ardent love in watching television or start focusing on my studies because it was the week of a crucial exam. But as you grow older, there are plethora of very hard choices that you have to make and some of them even relate to matters of life and death. They, the choices transcend each time you age, keeping you matured enough to face the arduous life of an adult.

Children on the other hand, is the phase in life in which they learn from their mistakes. But it irritates me a bit that parents can be over-protective of their children that they forget the essence of life is gaining and learning from the past mistakes that their children made. Bubble boy (a movie) is pretty much the perfect example in this matter which we speak of. The mother is just too protective of her son that she raised her son to be living his life not knowing what it's like to go outside and feel the pure raindrops or to touch the green grass of his lawn. He was forced to live his life to mimicking the life of a hamster trapped in a container segregated from the rest of the community.

Perhaps, this movie is exaggerated but the means it portrayed is what signify the parents today. No, I'm not lambasting the parents for protecting their children but it is merely an outcry how these children dislike being too bound, not having time knowing how it's like to do the things in life which matter to them. Even when the child decides that it's time for him to learn how to ride a bike, the mother forbid the child. Tell me, how on earth that the child is going to be independent? The child that her mother treasured the most is already of the age of 13! He will never learn anything. This child should be given the chance to know how it feels to ride a bike, falling and getting back up and never ever giving up.

With that, the child will certainly know what is best for him and learn how to pick the right choices in life. Hurting does not mean that the child should be kept precious instead the child must be exposed to it so that he will avoid repeating them. The similar thing implies to how we make decision. When we can predict the outcome through our senses and our past events, we will surely make the right choice and avoid choosing the wrong ones. Other than that prospect, being protective is a good parenting skill but being over-protective kills the evolving life of the young ones. They can be lifeless because they are never exposed to the crucial parts of living the life as human beings.

Therefore, it all correlates you see, the way life always revolve to the fact how we are raised and who raised us. One other thing, when making any decision we need to believe in god, then you know how it helps you in every way. Subhanallah.

Au revoir!

Tomorrow's news : Me driving for my P license

I am going to sleep early tonight at least it is earlier than when I used to sleep. Well, tomorrow's going to officially be my second time of driving a car with or without a guidance. Therefore, I was told to wake up early tomorrow so that I wouldn't be bored waiting for the long queues that I used to do, due to the fact that I was merely later than others just by a few minutes. 

People nowadays are really persistent that I need to compete with them getting up early and arriving there first. No one would want to wait, would they? Especially when it's about things that they love doing. Driving a car was quite something I longed for but when I am frequently exposed to the horrifying news regarding car crashes, my mind changed instantly. I don't mind driving but I mind those irresponsible people who drive on the roads. 

They caused this chain of car crashes. When one car crashed let's say an oncoming car ahead of them. Both of the cars will try to avoid crashing to each other so they start skidding to the other side of the lane. When they thought that every thing was over and that they are safe for any calamities, then out of sudden another car heading on the road with a very fast speed crashed to that car toppling it over. If there were to be motorcycles, they too would get involved in the crash; they are the ones who are mostly severed. 

Due to the eerie fact that it was because that the first driver was driving without paying attention to the road and too busy talking to the phone, the driver caused a brutal car crash taking many innocent lives. I really hope that I will never get involved in those kind of car crashes and I will always try to drive safely. But I am never capable of avoiding the inevitable. 

Well, I think this is pretty much there is to express my feeling. I am just happy that I am finally going to get my driving license despite the several rigorous stages ahead of me. Pray for me okay that I would do fine for tomorrow and I am not going to make any mistakes though they are unavoidable. 

Au Revoir!

The misintrepreted

It is an absolute nightmare when I read an article about how we are born gay. I don't mean 'we' i meant for them who confidently declare themselves as gays. It irked me to a greater extent when they suddenly mention how there is no cure to their ailment. Really? Do you really want me to think that? I must say, they are accepting this like they want it to be like that. There is this one hadith stating that every known ailment must have their way to cure. I do agree that even Islam acknowledged that those can be born with sexual imperfections but we as Islams should never opt to accepting it.

It is our obligation to aid these people from continuing to deviate from the right path. No you could not simply impart a wrong message to the crowd. No one in the world is born gay nor do they wish to be permanently gay. They ought to resort seeking people who are professional in this kind of realm. The counsellors can reduce the conflicts incurred in ones' mind. Several prolific professors have done their research and they say there are ways to solving this pandemic.

We love Allah 

Prior to becoming gay, most of them are influenced by the wrong inputs around them. Perhaps, they mingle more around girls compared to guys at their young age, playing along with them without bothering to even go and get to know their guy friends. The infusion of non-clarity of their sexual appeal is slowly being instilled in their minds with the wrong meaning to sexual gratification. They sort to people who are of the same gender as theirs and gradually develop a sexual attraction to their partners. These are so wrong in their perceived way. No man in the world are that dumb to have an open relationship with another man but I must say, homosexual individuals are having a better future ahead of them due to the acceptance of most of the societies nowadays with their predicament.

Clearly, this group of people are lacking of support and they are left to be in their own world without any guidance to make better of them. Not ashamed with what people might think of them, they ignored the outcry of the people and are too blinded with that pleasure they receive from their counterparts. Allah will always help His humble humans if they pray for their betterment and incite their partners to do the same. Sometimes, they scarcely devote themselves to praying but because of the loneliness they felt and the gaiety when they are amongst themselves, they just stop praying. You should never stop hoping that they could be cured.

I'm pretty sure that if they were to read this, they would be like "ahh, he doesn’t know anything about the feeling. No one would want this but we are born this way". Truth be told, you aren't putting enough trust in God Almighty, Allah's power to do any wondrous thing. We Islams should not be stupefied by those propagandas about the notions we are born gay and there is no other way but to accept and live your life to it. Always, I repeat, always try to believe that there's no other greater power than Allah. Being gay isn't something we are born with instead it is an ailment born with us. There must be the tiniest or slightest guilt in you and it is you to amplify it to stop from doing those which go against with our beliefs.

No, I am not bashing those who are being gays but please go seek someone who is much capable to cure you. This is for the greater good. There are just so much implications knowing that you are having open relationships with your own kind. Not to mention the wrath you'll later receive from your family and most importantly from God Almighty. I am pretty much trying to reach out a hand helping you guys to believe there is no other better way to live your life than other to go with the teachings of Islam.

Au revoir!

Televisions

When did the last time you ever watch a television? Let me guess, a few minutes ago right? This form of entertainment has slowly influenced our mind sets mostly with horrible mentalities. Parents see this as something that has nothing to be worried about. Little did they know, televisions especially without the guidance of adults can affect the minds of the children with unwarranted notions. Television being the one of the most powerful tool there is can simply impart conflicting ethics in the minds of the children

Transgender issues, being gays or lesbians, having s*x with who ever they want are gradually being accepted into our society which go against with our Islamic ethics. These children find those odd disgraced behaviours as normal things that every one has the right to do. What the heck. No wonder kids at the age of 10 are already having open relationships, chatting with strangers and eventually committing adultery. (sorry for my inappropriate usage of words). The norms of society are being conflicted with immense awful inputs. Most of the inputs are created by the westerns as to destroy the minds of us Islam children. 

I am not afraid to voice out my opinions but I believe that Glee, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., 90210 and many more are extremely inappropriate with our culture but still they are aired in the television. I do agree that they did rate those series but I don't think teenagers over 18 will not be influenced with what they are watching. Our religion has strictly forbid us from looking let alone watching couples as though they are having s*x. Despite the alarming increasing number of baby dumpings and seem to be raising even more, they still air those conspicuous acts of accepting the westerns deceiving infusion. 

How on earth can this be good for the children well-being. You have got to be kidding me.

Those series and no I'm lambasting them, are making teenagers more and more confused with their genders and made them want to try those awful acts. Just imagine us living in the world where there is no advent of modern technology to spoil our minds and instill a rancorous mentality of the glut usage of them, we will soon realise that our time are used to devoting themselves to getting closer to Allah almighty. I bet no child in the world would disobey their parents when the latter mourn that their children go to pray and say "wait ma/dad, the story's almost finished' nor will the children even try to do what the westerns do as they are not well-exposed to the so-called beaming culture and society.

Truth be told, the westerns are better off having their cultures to themselves. We initially clicked on the remote having nothing in mind except to spend few minutes watching television but once we found the right one, we will start to engross in them without realising how those can creep into our mind slowly infusing the sense of acceptance and awhh, it's-okay-kind-of-thing. Clearly it depicts how their efforts are no foolish strategies to restrain us from our pure beliefs, and perpetually deviating our faith to a mere none. 

I'm not saying that I don't watch television nor the programs they air but I really don't want our generation to become worse. I rarely see happy news being shown now. In fact, the latest news about a girl who just graduated went having a naked photoshoot with a man. He is also naked! They both hug each other being proud with what they are doing and what I despised the most was the fact that they're if I'm not mistaken are all from Islam community. I don't think that I'm obligued to stating their names but you can go and google it. They are the hottest controversy right now being slightly on top of the Ariff Alfian's supposedly gay marriage. Storms brew when that news aired, embarrassing not only the Malaysians but also us Islam.

Au revoir!

Simple Update

I found this one lovely blog which is constantly posting informative stuffs and that had me thinking, 'could I be good as him?'. No, I will never be the exact twin to him but I will make him as my idol of a great person. He is exceptionally genius! Perhaps all of those deceiving images and glimpses of him studying were the fact that he had surreptitiously done some handful research. His knowledge about the world is great and profound with much depth regarding the global occurrences. I was even awed due to the fact that he has a good command in English both in written and communication wise.

Every sentence he wrote depicted the sheer knowledge he has and how determined he was to share them to all of his readers. I greatly look up on his talents and hardworks. He used to be my senior in school and he still is despite being outside of the realm of schooling. He had greatly imparted the knowledge he has through his kenness in writing well-contrived essays. He with his ultimate tool of knowledge will be happy enough to re correct the misinterpreted notions of people upon seeing a viral news via the mass media.

This post is pretty much dedicated for his ingenuit and to his glorious art of writing. I am going to read as much as possible so that I would become as knowledgable as him.

Au revoir.

Learning from the pasts

Damn it, I should have not bother reading other people's blog. Why did I ever try looking at their result. Now, I'm just nervous. No, I'm not denying that I do have this rather uncertainties about my SPM result but I have to always stay positive and pray for the best.

I did some reading on those who had qualified themselves to be awarded scholarships and they are prolific students with outstanding curricular achievements culminating into one perfect candidate for their desired scholarships. I envy those people but at the same time, I am motivated and all gear up, ready for the rigorous stages. Constantly reading was the only possible activity I could do during my phases as an official SPM-leavers. tried reading to those blogs regarding results and their achievements, it awed me to their exceptional capabilities. That was one of their ground reason why they got those scholarships.

Allah has each provided us with our own rezeki and it is up to us next in order for us to realise those things. Perharps, praying a lot more would do the trick. These days, my heart isn't feeling calm, surrounded with anxiety and bad omens. Only god know how my mind is playing tricks on mind. At night, I was supposed to get a good night rest but the dreams were pestering my head with unwarranted images of me failing. Naudzubillah.

Stay positive! Never loose hope! Set your target and look ahead never look back. Only refer to those that you can educate yourselves. Those dreams weren't going to dampen my hope of achieving what I hope, in fact, it had boost my spirit to strive my dreams. 9A+ please it be on my slip when I receive my result. There was one time that I dreamt that I had to retake the exam over and over again because I kept on failing. When I got up, you can't imagine how relieved was I to know that it was all a dream. 

Stressing out about the problems you experienced is not the best remedy. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and let go a few puff, counting to ten will definitely ease the problems that have been boggling your mind with its predicaments. Really, after I thought it through, I realise those blogs made me even more alert and always to improve myself until I see melioration. Determination can urge anyone to succeed unless you stop it from helping you. Those blogs and webpages were really informative and though it made me a bit uneasy  but I learnt a lot from it.

Au Revoir!

Mistakes

In life, we are bound to making mistakes. People who always achieve success and never fail at what they're doing risk failure worst than others. We learn from our mistakes, making sure that we don't repeat the them. At least as we grow older, we can become even more matured.

Learning from others' mistakes and avoiding ourselves from doing the same thing are considered as the best way of maturing in life. It all will culminate to turning out to be one of our most powerful assets in life.

That is why we need to know and learn about our history, the history of mankind, the history of our ancestors. Thousands of archaic history are best known for their values and the story behind to it. We can learn infinite of lessons evokes the eyes of the reader at how calamities have brought down every great civilisation.

The remains thrive from the ashes giving birth to the successors of the old. We have witnessed the the ruins of the great civilisation and the incarnation of the same. There are bound to be many more of civilisations that we have yet to discover and learn what they have to tell us.

Making mistakes is one of the essence of life. We grow older from, learning through myriads of possible ways. Never stop educating ourselves and others in order to succeed in what we do.

Au revoir!

Roti Canaier

how there! well, long time haven't seen you guys. actually i've just come back from my school. and now i've moved to a new home at Selangor. the house is quite nice but i need time to get use to the new environment. the room is quite nice and spacious. well what i could do right now is trying to adapt with the new situation and find time to get to know the neighbourhood. well, you know me, i'm not that good in making new friends but ill try my best to.

enough of that, actually last week my school had this what you call, as an activity week. in this week, they only allow you to have fun and there is no study session at all. so i was having a lot of fun participating in the activities but unfortunately a week before that i wasn't feeling well enough to prepare for that week. actually a week before that is the examination week so, after a week of frustration, we could release the tension by having fun during the activity week.

so let us look at the activities we had. one of them was making roti canai and teh tarik. well, i took part in making the roti canai. actually, i never in  my life did such thing so i was quite clueless but i tried to keep myself calm and try to do my best in what i do. so it was my turn, and i managed to practice before presenting my work (making roti canai).

As soon as the song played, I swung that dough up in the air, trying as hard as I could, avoiding it from breaking apart. It could rupture easily if I did not put an effort to swing it gently but then I saw little horrible stretch marks on the roti canai, giving me the signal to stop swinging so hard and let it loose. I was they say lost in the rhythm of the music. I danced to the sung. I never thought that there would be some supporters who would come and show their earnest support to me. Who else if it is not my own classmates. Haha

I prefer not to talk what happen next by one thing that I could tell you is that then it was the judgement time. I remembered tucking in the bits hanging on the side of the roti canai, hiding the holes so that it would look deceivingly perfect. At least the judge believed it, I think so. The result came the latest of all the events on that night. I remembered going about in the open hall, looking at other activities. I also went looking for the event of Teh Tarik. It was extremely funny when they tried every tricks in order to arouse the judges' interest on them.

Walking around continuing to wander cluelessly didn't not know what to do next. I recalled eating roti canai with my friend and no they were not the ones we made. hehe. At last, it the time for the result. out of hundreds of participants (it was actually 30) I got the second place! Who knew, I had the talent to make roti canai. This is what you call as a hidden talent and it could definitely give me an upper hand when I want to work at a roti canai store.

Au revoir!

p/s : i found this post in the draft and i continued the writing. maybe that's why it's weird I could not let it continue rotting in the draft, won't we?

Mother's Love

Have we ever thought of how life would be so miserable without our mothers' presence in the house? Just imagine one day, not seeing them, we would be going all nuts and could not even stop thinking about them. They have dedicated their whole life, taking care of us, making sure that we would be happy and never stop smiling no matter how sad we are. 

Being a mom is not as easy as we thought it would be. Try shouldering the responsibility regardless if you are a  man, soon you'll realise your life are becoming topsy-turvy, all upside down. That one earnest feeling of love and care is what kept them doing what they did. They bared us for 9 months and went into the most agonising session of giving birth. Once we are born, love bound us together. 

Seeing us shedding our tears, our moms would never rest until we get a smile back on our faces. They come into you room every day without you even realising it, looking at our faces. Your presence in the house made them happy. Nothing in this world would ever replace that one special smile on your face. They never do stop thinking about us so why do we? When ever we raised our tone to them, their hearts are being torn to pieces of disappointment. 

Apology is not enough to solve the problem. It is love that will only make them forgive you. Thus, every time you get into an argument, run to them, hug them tightly and say that you always love them. Never ever stop loving the person who had risked their life giving birth to you. Nothing is more special than a mom's love.

Murder acts

Have you ever met someone who likes to see blood? The gaiety depicted from their expression upon witnessing the death or the agony of a person proves to show how they are mentally ill  and capable of committing the exact similar action to others. The tendency varies with the people depending on several factors. Much so this is when you're faith and belief are being challenged.

You must have watched a lot of serial killer movies, haven't you? The most common series would be the crime scene investigation. They contrived murder in scrutinizing details that there are few which made it hard for the officers to even solve. The big question is what incites them into doing what they did? Did someone evoke them? Or is it that they are just simply seeking pleasure out of it?

No matter what their motives are, it is an outcry that the people want their safety to be ensured. Now then, why don't we sink in the minds of those people and try to understand what catalyse them to even commit those cruel actions. Most common reason what made them who they are would probably be the history of their childhood. They could simply be abused by their parents that it had planted the seed of hatred on the minds of the children. Some children would even feel that there is nothing wrong in wounding people and instead they see it as a pleasurable thing to do.

Exposing the children with much violence can also induce the wild behaviour in the children. This can be in a form of joy that we don't realise the real effect it brings to the mental development of the children such as games, movies and even when their parents are killing a fly without remorse. It had instilled a wrong input and can be wrongly interpreted even misleading the minor things that we see as something alright to do.

No, I'm not condoning those mentally ill people who commit crimes due to their parents fault. There are also other factors which have caused the children into turning out to be murderous killers when they grew up. Scientifically speaking, it could also happen because of genetic factors. There are few cases that the genes can mutate caused by external factors. Radiation can be on top of the list. The baby bared could grow up to become hyperactive and could hardly differentiate what is best for them and what is not.

We on the other hand are lucky to be growing up in a conducive environment that we do not develop to becoming those people that we are afraid of. Come to think of it, if we had not been cared of and loved we would also have the chance of being that person. We deprived ourselves from accepting the pleasure in life. In spite,the modern life we are living now, these people are still living around us; it's just that we don't really know if they are really capable of doing those inhumane acts.

au revoir!

writing is the way of life

i find it to be really easing when it comes to writing something. the sky's the limit and i can write what ever i want and when ever i can. for me, every writer, they have their own secret and story to tell. regardless if you're a talented writer or not, what's important that you use writing as your way of expressing yourself to the crowd. it pretty much occurred to me of how important it is for me to read as much as i can in order to generate ideas, creative enough and to hone my writing skills.

what i like the most about writing is that you are free to write anything that comes into mind and can simply jot it down on a piece of paper. it is simple yet very satisfying. come to think of it, when i was about the age of 12 or so, i hated writing, despised every second of my time spent to squiggle a pointless word on a dull piece of paper. it was soon that i learnt to appreciate the essence of writing and how much i would benefit from it. it is not simple for you to write something that is valuable to you or to your readers. no matter how hard you try, the value in your essay could simply degrade over time as people would get bored of reading the same material over and over again. but what matters the most is the quality and the history behind every writing.

you could not apprehend something just by evaluating through your senses. it requires much of your time so that you could engross in a writing, understand the real meaning behind to it and learn to appreciate the effort that has been put into writing a complete essay. even 3 words on a piece of paper could signify hundreds of thousands of meanings depending on the people's views. i could give an example "i hate you". if i were to be translating it with my stereotype thinking, i would dully understand it as an expression of hatred being conveyed to the reader. but if i were to use my imagination, i could try to translate it as something cynical or an act of fooling around that it doesn't have to mean hatred but just a way of joking around with words.

that is why it is important for the youth today, for them to express their feeling on a piece of paper rather than being too attached with technology. playing games would not do the trick. at least this can reduce the stressful lifestyle of a teenager and avoid them from committing suicide which has been a pandemic. not only that, you could also gain profit from writing. many of the people get involved in submitting their articles to the newspaper or sending their essays to a book company so that they can be published. the satisfaction which comes from the readers is undeniably awesome and this is why most people would love to write.

au revoir!

The World Scholars Cup - part 1

i think i want to share one of my greatest moments in MRSM PC. i was not quite sure where was i, at that time but i received this one message. "you, nini, me, please be at taman ilmu after magrib. if possible make an announcement." yeap i was quite stunned and exceptionally surprised that i had to wait after this. the only thing that came into mind was that it must have something to do with debate.

right after that, i went to Taman Ilmu and saw this group people, gathering already. it clearly meant that i was late or they were just too early. either way, i managed to come before they even begun to discuss. there were 2 people whom i never saw before. she was nadhirah syahmi and that one guy, i forgot his name. sorry. anis nadhirah as the team leader had told me that i was going to represent the school in the world scholar's cup competiton.

this is when i would like to give you a bit of introduction on why i am so glad that i was chosen to represent this well-renown  competition. it all started my seniors confronted the principal that they're willing to pay for the expenses with their own money and that they will do their best in the upcoming competition. they managed to convince the mr principal to allow them to compete and they proved they were no liars either. they were chosen as one the teams from the malaysian which will be competing in the global round. it included people from all around the globe.

they were lucky enough to even be selected as one of those team. this competition in its essence itself does not only involve one's debating skills but also requires much depth in knowledge and pure talent to publicly speak. they gave you about 8 quite thick books which you could easily obtain through the internet. these books are to be read and memorised or not you won't be able to answer the questions they gave you later on.

the competition itself has several rounds, each with its purpose to test on the different aspects. first you'll be gathered into this one room and they'll give about 150 objective questions. after that you are required to write an argumentative essay depending on what motions you are given with. there are no definite value or the length of your essay but they want you to be wise and critical enough to give substantial arguments on your side.

then you'll have to debate. there are 3 frustrating round. most of the time, you are always tensed, pestered by the annoyance of people going about with their points. last but not least, it will be the time where they test you on your buzzer-clicking skills. theyre 5 different sections compiled with questions made from those thick books i told you earlier.

well, that is a bit of introductory essay on world's scholar cup. i'll be updating soon with my experience competing in this event.

au revoir!

driving lessons

this morning i had my driving lesson and it was boring. just imagine you have to drive along the track with a speed too slow to even begin with,being guided every single time when i reached the turning corners. he never did put a trust in me to try to turn by myself. not just that, he himself had fallen asleep several times. i was like quite shocked of his blatantly bored expression.

what made me even mad was that i did not even get the chance to press the speed pedal. the fastest speed that i could go was merely 5kmh. believe me, it was an outrage of disappointment with what has been appointed to me that was supposed to be enjoyable and i could not even experience a slight melioration at my driving skills.

other than those dull lessons, i was also disappointed that i wasn't given enough time to drive and by the time i was about to enjoy the lesson, he instructed me to stop and start to park. i wasn't even given the chance to climb those man-made hill which was supposed to be hiked by that car of mine. being a guy who tries to act polite, i forced a hypocrite smile on my face, signifying a fake gratification from his teachings.

not so much of a happy driver am i? but i did have little fun despite the lack of vigour depicted by the instructor to very much even sculp my driving skills into a commendable progress if not perfect. i learnt how to curve at every turn with a speed to be ashamed with. learning parking was the fun bit actually. sheer concentration was needed as i had to be alert with the car's condition or the engine would suddenly turn off.

there were a couple times that i did make mistakes but that was because that i was too tensed and can't be patient. i guess, i was too excited to park. it was then i know that there's this sneaky knack to parking actually. it was a technique which i praised at. needless to say, as a whole it sucked but at least i got the chance to drive a car. and it wasn't the typical kancil car. i got to  drive other cars. there is not much different but you need to be aware of the changes in the clutch before you could drive.

au revoir!

The Exam!

just a little bit of update on whats happening to my life recently. so i took the exam which was tiring as i had to wait for a very long queue. i remember that there were 40 people waiting before it was going to be my turn. just imagine being stuck to your chair unable to do nothing but only to look and have a glance at the people there. there were lots of different expression being depicted from their faces after theyve finished the exam. some were happy with the outcome and some were upset and depressed that they failed the exam.

i on the other hand was jauntily texting with my friends. i remember searching and clicking on that sturdy buttons of my phone, trying to find the right person for me to have a descent conversation. the first person that came in mind was syahirah. i texted her and she replied, and kept on accompanying me from my boredom. after that i tried to text other people. there were akim and also izwan. they were nice enough to keep me busy before it was my turn to go into the not-so frightening room.

i perpetually clicked on my phone, making annoying clicking sound that i was pretty sure that the girl behind me find it a bit irritating. but then who cares, im bored you know. truth be told, i myself was a bit irritated with the people around me. there was this one chinese girl with no manner and an ugly face, sitting on that one place where we would want to have a look on the sample questions but yet she sat there to herself ignoring the pissed expression that i tried conveying to her. well, she might be blind.

nevertheless, the time flew quite fast if not, moderate enough that i was shocked to know that i sat there for almost 3 damn freaking hours! it was then my turn to do the exam. i went to the receptionist who handled the finger analysing thingy and had my thumb scanned. next, i had to have my picture taken and i was positive that i made an ugly expression. nevertheless, i was never meant to take nice picture at all.

went into the room with an open mind, i keyed in my id and started to click the answers. there were some confusing question that i didnt recall reading any of that. but i was pretty sure that i could get full mark. by the time i hit the finish button i was shocked and slightly disappointed with the result but to say the least i passed the exam. i went out of the room feeling ungrateful with my result when i should have been so happy that i passed the damn exam. HAHA. but i guess i will never find anything satisfying as long as it is not up to my expectation.

yeah, i forgot to tell you that there was this one guy who talked to me. he told me that that was the 3rd time he went for the examination. outside of the building, i waited for my father to come and fetch me. then he came and told me that he didnt pass. i could see it in his eyes of how sad he was. i should be more grateful with what i get. looking at the guy, it reminded me of how i would sometimes feel unsatisfied with what i got even though it wasn't that bad. i should be looking at it from a different perspective and learn how to appreciate the tiniest accomplishment that i achieved.

au revoir!

Palestine The Gaza Strip

a guy armed with weapon was involved in a recent massacre which took the lives of more than 20 people and they are mostly of the age of 5 to 7. this happened in US. the people are already mourning and crying over this matter. i am not trying to simplify this big issue but just look at them crying over the death of their children. but have they ever thought or even showed any concerns to what's happening in Gaza? what's even sadder when the parents themselves have to bear everyday seeing their children died in the constant bombardment.

millions of live have been dead due to the non-stop bombing by the israelis and some even lost parts of their bodies and yet the israelis are still not satisfied with what they have done to the palestinians. sorry for being so simplistic but US has always showed their full support to the israel providing them the weapons they need. i guess my knowledge aren't that much but what i do know is Hamas which is an Islamic body and had been classified as a terrorist organization by the US and israel.

Hamas has won the parliamentary election to rule the government of the Gaza strip in 2006. due to the clashes that happen between Hamas and israel, bomb attacks were launched and it lasted until today. i guess both of them have their points of attacking each other but i am merely worried with the civilians because they are the ones who are being mostly affected by the ever constant attacks. i am now seeing the people of Gaza  have to be living in a constant terror, terrified by the bomb launches.

despite the agitation, the Gaza people still tried to protect their believes and their jihad to their religion. they threw stones at the israel soldiers and fought them with the help of their bare hands. i see true jihad here. and i am particularly sad when i see my islam brothers had to suffer from this never-ending issue. i am now trying to show my concerns and devote myself to this matter. i had done several research of my own and i still don't really get what's really happening.

the issue about palestine did not happen in a mere day but it happened since centuries ago. there are lots for me to digest but i will try my best to understand this. i am not going to stand still and do nothing when my brotherhood of islams are being threatened every day. i am going to pray for their betterment and hope that it all will end soon. i believe that soon the good will always triumph.

Driving License

yeah, i am extremely happy today because i just got a new ID. though the picture is not that satisfying but who cares, ill be getting a new ID anyway next year. my birthday is on feb so i only have about 2 months before i get a new one.

immediately after getting my new brand ID, i fetch my phone and quickly give a call to PSM academy. i ask the earliest date for me to have my driving exam and she said that its on this saturday. i would have loads of time to study and to prepare myself with the exam. most of the feedback that i got, they say that the exam is not that hard after all you just need to answer the 500 questions they gave you after the 5 hours course.

i was told that i need to wear appropriate clothing, shoes and a shirt with a collar. i also need to bring along my ID, and 10 ringgit for a picture. i just can't wait to have the exam so that i could learn how to drive as soon as possible. if possible i want to get all correct but im not that kind of person who loves to open a book and constantly stare at it. i would then get this very agonising headache. i have a story to that actually.

well on the other end of the spectrum, my friends and i, we went to a mall and stumble upon a glasses store. so i decided to the a check up on my eyes. then i got the result it says that i am longsighted. close objects appear fuzzy to me and if i read to long i will start to feel a bit dizzy. yeah, when i told my friends about that they said that i'm old because only old people has that thing.

i don't quite care because i don't have to wear any glasses but i am still advised to take care my sight because if i continue to be like that i will hard time to see close distance objects. well, i think that's all, hope that i'll pass the test with flying colours. hehe.

Coronal Mass Ejection (CME)

here i now share you a fantastic knowledge that i just got through my addiction at watching TV. i just learnt that our earth is constantly facing a threat from the outer space. i am sure that some of you would think that aliens are about to attack our planet but i beg to differ.

did you know that, our earth are being threaten by the sun itself and the wrath that it brings is unbearable for most of the earth inhabitants. can you imagine living in your house without the electricity for weeks or even months? yeah, i bet some of you would go frantically insane without electricity as it offers us with myriad benefits that some of us simply take for granted constantly.

HUGE SOLAR FLARES WITH CORONAL MASS EJECTION

sun generates solar flares that happen due to the magnetic field disturbance in the core of the sun. with this solar flares, they could last for days and even weeks and it will come to a point where they would twist and turn which disrupts the poles and causes the emission of large photons in the outer space. several of these photons are projected at random angle and even can be directed straight to the earth's surface.

when this happen, there are two indefinite possibilities which had been proposed by most of the world scientists. the photons are flung into outer space creating a ball of electricity and acts as a shield of poles. if these poles were to be directed exactly to the same poles of the earth, we are save from any harm as the earth had dodged the catastrophe it poses. but if the opposite were to happen instead the magnetic field of the earth would simply amplify the photons and accelerate it directly to the earth atmosphere creating a surmountable electric disturbance to the generators, power grids and even transformers.

when this do happen, our earth will be facing problems of not having the supply of electricity which can last for months. other than this, the people around the world would witness the beautiful threads of luminous light in the sky called aurora. but after a few minutes this colourful threads will soon turn out to be large electric shocks that can cause fires all around the world. we would then see thousands and thousands of monuments and building being engulfed in the blazing inferno. short circuits, fires, and the bright flashes can be a huge disaster!

now, scientists are finding ways to predict the next coronal mass ejection (CME) to occur and strike the earth with its enormous power. the last recent occurrence happened in february 2012 but the earth managed to avoid from being struck by the raging photons due to the alignment of the earth's magnetic poles with the photons'. scientists predict that the next maximum solar flare to occur in 2013. experiments and researches are being done constantly but we can now only hope that nothing bad would happen.

pre-university programs

i am torn between two right now. i do not know whether i should further my studies in IB or opt for A-levels instead. both are inexplicably hard but A-levels is more to exam-oriented kind of education. would i prefer to go for something that would challenge both your skills and your brains or only decide to go for something that is more specialised. i heard neither of them would require you to go for diploma after that. so this is also a pre-university kind of thing.

okay just look at the options. there are two different kinds of education which are the government and the other one is private. so with government you have several options that you could choose. they are matriculation, foundation or as they call it as ASASI, and also Form 6. so for private they have IB, A-levels and college foundation. from these options i've narrowed down to 2 but it depends yet again on my result which burdens me a bit.

i need to rethink the options that i have if my result is not that convincing. but before that i would love to share you a bit on what i got after a hell-of-a-series of searching. so government options are not what i would opt to but i guess i would have no choice but to accept on what had been laid out to me if my result were to be very disappointing. but for now, i am more interested in furthering my studies into a private education as they had prepared you with ample programs and challenges for you to face later on.

IB and A-levels:_
-this is the type of program that suits the people or the school leavers that have yet to decide on what course they would like to embark in to. one more thing, this program also gives you the chance to later further your studies in ivy league universities which are top ranked. that's why i am a bit interested with these options instead.

college foundation:_
-if you already decide on what course you would like to pursue, i would recommend you to try this one because this is more specialised on your course and they prepare you before going to your desired universities. this is i supposed would definitely get the attention of those who are interested in studying at a fast pace because you only a need a year or so to finish studying.

out of these three, A-levels is the longest but it'll only take 18 months. for me that's not that long but u need to always bear in mind as these options revolved on a two year kind of syllabus based education and it is packed in a very short period of time. for a students who are not too keen of learning that fast, i think these program are not your cup of tea. i would recommend you to try diploma instead because this will take 3 years. you would have ample time to study and not to have to be worried if you make mistakes along the way.

Nothing much

you know what, i thought that i wouldnt have any problem getting my license ready but guess what, my id card was said to be unusable anymore. it made me mad a little bit because i had to postpone my exam to a later date. i just hate it.

i saw most of friends are already learning how to drive but me, i'm still no where near to that. one more thing, i was supposed to renew my id card today but it rains so heavily that it retarded the whole process. my father was the kind of guy who just doesnt like to get wet so i told him we could do this tomorrow if the rain persists to be like that.

so i am back again in my house with nothing to do but to watch tv. it just bothers me to think that i would continue to be like this for a longer period of time. it even saddens me to think that i would not have the chance to get my braces on. i heard that my father is still waiting for the right person to call him.

what a bad day i guess. hope it'd better be good tomorrow or else i would never get to renew my id card.

HATE HIM!

this is a post where i would like to express all of the feelings that has been bundling up in me. well it all comes to this one particular person. i developed a feeling of hatred towards him. Sorry.

i just cant stand people who love to express their notions on things without even a second think the impact that it might bring after that. he had to at least think of what others might think towards him if he keeps on posting thing like that. i know everyone has their own opinions but he needs to know where is the right place for him to express his feeling and the right way to express it.

he keeps on criticising on what others are doing but he neglected the fact that the person he had opposed is actually the same religion as his. he might think what he's doing is right but its actually not! he is perfectly full of himself and he forgets that what he's going to say might bring more harm than good. i thought our education system had taught us well in treating other people but i guess not. it all comes back to the family background who raised him!

he talks like he knows everything but his own family doesnt wear hijab and yet he has the guts to give religion based comments. it just pissed me off to even think about him. well, i texted some of my friends about him. yeah, i think just let him rot with his ego. i guess people like that should be given the chance to continue be living in the world of his own so that sooner or later he'll realise what he did was actually wrong.

I HATE HIM. sorry.

ASEAN DEBATE

this time around, i would like to share you one of my memorable memories. it's about a debate competition that i went to during july. it's the ASEAN debate competition.

you can't imagine of how shocked was i to know that i actually won the whole competition. YEAH!

i was THE THIRD speaker, A WHIPPER i supposed. i still could remember the first and the second round of the debate, NINI was in ( i cant because i was not feeling well ).

but in those two round our team won all the rounds but when i decided to debate again we lost in the third round. WTHECK! it had tarnished my spirit but that would not simply dampen my spirit to win completely. i knew i still had it in me so i gave it all out in the fourth round. GUESS WHAT ? - we won.

the 5th round we also won it. and i was too nominated as the best speaker at that round. just imagine how excited was i to know that. hehe. again at the quarter finals i wasnt feeling well so forfeited in the last minute. NINI got in and yet we still win.

but when its semi final Nini really wanted me to be in, and i promised her that. when its semi final i gave all that i got and the moment of truth it was the announcement , drum rolls please....

the motion was that street demos does not bring any solution so the motion falls! (I was the opposition) tears streamed down my cheeks as i couldnt believe what i heard. i hugged the man on the other team. what the fish! it feels so unbelievable for even getting into finals. it was all a dream back then.

so the finals. the motion THBT it is time for ASEAN to have a parliament. i was nervous as hell. just looking at the audience made me like to vomit but i braved myself and took that mic. i grabbed it confidently and i spoke non-stop. i blabbered all the way and i believe that some of the things that i said did not even make any sense. HAHA.

it was the announcing of result time. with margin 1.3 it was very very close and jury 6 to 2. MRSM PENGKALAN CHEPA won the debate. I WAS SO SHOCKED and i felt like crying!!!

additional info - this competition was held at MRSM Felda Trolak and several other countries joined the competition as well such as indonesia, thailand, brunei.
hehe.

Chance

Title: Chance
Author: Muhammad Husaini bin Ab Aziz

  There she is, an angel-like figure leaning against the rustic wall too worried with my condition. I lay my head on that fluffy pillow with her as my company and a smile arch on her tantalizing lips as she stare at me while I try to close my eyes.

  It all started a year ago when no one in this world would have ever thought that a person like me would even exist. I, myself did not ever put an effort to distinguish myself from others but yet i know back then i was special. But for me it was all a curse. i was given a talent so special that anyone would want to have it. Those who crave for it would do anything even perhaps kill other people in having what I have. As morbid as it could be i had no other choice but to accept and live on with my mundane life.

  But, it changed when my love ones died leaving me alone to rot by myself. Everyday i wished i was dead like all of the people that i knew did. a part of me was about to accept it but once my wife was also lost in a battle of surviving, i began to develop an anger in myself, burning in me as well as ruining my life. Age was the one who won the battle. It was all a fairy tale to me to be living happily ever after. One day, i drove my car, curving at every turn with a gloom in my heart. There it was finally. i accelerated my car and swerved into a ram and my car plummeted into a stupendous ravine. i saw no end to it.

  The faces of the people that i knew throughout my life started to flicker before my eyes very vividly. The last one was my beloved wife. In the end the car crashed to the ground and it was engulfed in a blazing inferno, burnt at every inch. The fire too devoured my skin into oblivion and the weirdest thing was that i did not feel any pain. i could not feel anything at all. Shedding tears as all of my dwelled past began to haunt me with its festering view; i looked helplessly at my window as it shattered into tiny pristine pieces. my hands was still at the steering wheel so I curved my car randomly.

  A big tree came in view and at that time I hoped that my wish did come true. blood continued to drain out from my body as the car kept on driving itself towards the tree. it then hit the tree and a long hard branch penetrated deeply into my chest and the back of my spine. I was about to fall into a deep slumber for an eternity. My eyes closed and my heart stopped beating.

  Before long, a man came to me. I heard nothing except for a discordant tune at my ears which I later recognized it as the sound of an ambulance. A midget man came to me and I was so sure that he was stunned to look at my condition but one thing for sure he was brave enough. I could feel the beating of his heart as he pulled the branch out from my chest with great vigour. Nightmare struck before me at once the log that which had taken my life before was freed from piercing my chest.

  My heart started to beat again and slowly I regained my consciousness. My eyes opened at the sight of being in front of a blurry unrecognised man and his face was shocked to see my horrifying condition. I was beyond recognition but it was temporary as my skin started to emerge with a new flesh, even more perfect than before. My darkened figure due to the fire alternated with appearance of a lighter skin to skin.

  Drawing a steadying deep breath, my feet jerked and my hands moved with little tremors as I healed completely. The man who stood before me did not believe his eyes as I managed to recover from the wrath of that horrible accident. He moved three steps back and stumbled upon a root that emerged from the bloody ground and tripped over. Standing back up, he ran away as if he saw a ghost. I could not release myself as I was still stuck to the back of my seat.

  Minutes passed, I heard murmurs of disturbing voices heading towards me. Struggling, I pulled myself out but it was too late. A group of people looked at me as though I was a circus freak and a shot of a tranquilizer was enough to put me back to sleep. I gained my vision and clearly saw myself chained to the bed and three figures examining me, scrutinizing at every inch of my body. Startled, I tried to scream but my mouth was shut closed by a tight mask.

  Till then, I have always been locked up in that room, segregated from the rest of the community. I start to lose track of time. In the end this beautiful girl came to me and she declared herself as my great granddaughter. Since then, she would always pay a visit and she stood herself against the wall, looking after me. I close my eyes with a note of relief as I know that she is also given a chance to be like me.

THE END

p/s : any corrections or any ideas of improvement would do great. feel free to drop ur comments. i am still in a phase of improving my second based language which is english. thanks for reading.

                                                                                                                  

it's a new spirit. :)

now that SPM's out of the way, i could have all the time in the world. i could have ample time to renew my blog and even post more about my school. i was beginning to think i would never have anything chance to blog anymore. but then when spm's over, i felt a sheer of relief as well as content.

i promise if and only if i dont feel lazy, i would try to update more about the things that ive done throughout my life living in mrsm pengkalan chepa. there were ups and downs but mostly ups. i once felt sad living there but when i prayed to god, everything seemed to become easier. it was like that i went to a new place. ill tell you then about that. right now, im planning to spruce this blog up a little bit. maybe i make few changes with the template or even maybe try to change my blog's name to something else.

well, i plan to make this as a place for me to share my story. ill try my best to become even more diligent in posting new stuffs. but what the heck, i dont even know what to do during my moments of being free. i might as well blog right? it brings pleasure and i can always improve my english in doing this right? hehe.

well see you then. until next time. btw ill try my best to make this blog even more interactive and not boring. ill try to even publicise my blog so that more people would come and visit it. hehe . bye :))

Wishes

this is an essay especially for an awesome friend of mine. hope she likes it.

   Propping his shoulder against the wall as he glanced the room in brooding silence, I stared at his manly features. A note of uneasiness was depicted from his muscular face as he eagerly waited for me to get into labour. I, myself did not deny the fact that I was too worried with the prospect of having this baby. He looked at me with a nonchalant smile and came closer to my bed, grasping my hand to a gentle touch.

   Suddenly, an agonising pain surged across my body. Then, I realised that I having this painful contractions. Alarming my husband, I screamed as I held his hand ever so tightly, refusing to let him go. Seconds passed, the doctor came in and rushed me into the nearest labour room and as I entered into the dimly lit room with a frightening ambience, a very vivid flashback flickered before my eyes.

   It was my first meeting with my family doctor and I met her alone as my husband had to go abroad for his demanding job. During my first seven months of pregnancy, I frequently experienced pain on the left side of my stomach that I would sometimes faint because of it. So i told the doctor about the problem and she told me to go to the hospital and to have a thorough medical check-up.

   Since my husband was not around at that time, I went to the hospital alone with the help of my dearest best friend to aid me during my lonely moments. She sent me to the hospital and my hands started to tremble as I had always had bad experiences being in a hospital. Entering the room after undergoing a series of medical check-up, I looked at the doctor's face, searching for the answer to the difficulties that I had but there was no clear expression.

   Taking my seat as my feet tremores to the eerie sight being in front of the doctor, he began the conversation. He asked me so many things that there were at times, I felt he was trying to conceal the news from me that up to a point, I stopped answering and demanded the truth. His face completely changed and it was an omen, signifying that I was going to receive a bad news. He told me that.

   Suddenly, I woke up from my bed and looked around, a bit oblivious to my surroundings. With a blurry view, a man came to me and brought a baby in his hand, cuddling it with warmth and care. it was my child. He came closer to  me, putting the baby into my frail hands and I looked at the baby and tears rolled down my cheeks, as I remembered what the doctor had told me.

   Since that day, I would release a balloon outside my house into the air, attached to it a wish to god. After three months of taking care of the baby, everything seemed to be fine until that one night, I noticed my baby was not breathing normally, gasping for air. I woke up and dragged my husband along with me to the hospital, taking my baby. Minutes of waiting was worrying for me as my baby started to show the sign that I has always prayed for it not to happen.

   Calling my name along with my husband, I rushed into the room and saw my baby was put into an incubator. The doctor approached me, calming me and he told me that my baby was going to be fine. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later so I quickly wrote my new wish on a piece of note, and I kept it safely  in my purse.

   I knew that time, god had always been answering my prayers and I was not going to lose hope. As soon as I arrived home, I attached my wish to a balloon that I had bought earlier and went outside of my house. I released that one blue balloon and a gush of wind swept it away until it was stucked to a tree. Before I could do anything, my husband called and his face was not happy as it used to.

   Grabbing my hand with anger, we went to the hospital and he told me the news. Beyond my consciousness, I fell onto my knees and screamed as tears rolled down my cheeks. My baby was finally gone and I knew that time, my baby was fighting for his life to stay alive. I cupped my hands on to my face and leaned my head against my husband's shoulder, too saddened by the news.

   Since that day, I had always released 100 balloons into the air to decorate the sky with their vibrant colours as a remembrance of my first born baby. Attached to it was a note, the very last note that I had written which was blown by the wind during that hurtful incident. And on that note I wrote "Thank you god for you had always been there for me during my sad moments. And that you had given me the chance to spend even longer time taking care of my baby. Thanking you, for you had given me a perfect baby, a baby that was supposed to be born with no hands or even eyes to look at me. for you had not made what the doctor had said to be true. thank you."

corrections were made during the writing of this essay. hope you like it :))

no more SPM for me

is it really finally over? am i now free?  i looked at the clock and restlessly waiting for the invigilator to end the exam. one final scan on that piece of paper and i closed the paper, sat up straight and nervously awaited for the final minutes to end.

"stop writing, place your pen on your desk and one last check. check your id number your details."

   my heart pounded to the sound of that and i looked to my left and saw Mas, a friend of mine smiling at me. i did the same to her. i placed my exam paper to the right side of my table and anxiously shaking my knees to the excitement of me finally being free of the misery staying up late at night doing homeworks, memorizing those thick heavy books, and being a student that has to do every thing by the rules. one of the invigilator took my exam paper and a big joyful smile arched on my lips. i just could not stop smiling.

   i was about to shed tears but my inner conscience stop me from doing that.

"it all finally ends. 3.30 p.m finished with a biology paper 3. it's all over i am finally free." i whispered to myself.
 
   then we dispersed from the main hall and went to the invigilator to shake his hands. i ran to the door and my feet felt a little bit frail. i feel light. it seemed that all of my problems faded away and i could not describe the feeling in words. AT LAST I WAS FREE! SPM'S OVER! YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

YAYASAN KHAZANAH

a little update about myself. just went to yayasan khazanah interview and i had a blast. i could meet people from different backgrounds and it helps in broadening my horizion.

well this is the second stage and i managed to get through the first stage. the first stage tested me on my IQ which i prefer not to talk here. hehe. i think its not that hard but the time constraint was irrelevant. you were given 42 questions and you need to finish answering the question in only 9 minutes. WTH ?!

but still, i managed to qualify to the next stage. there were more than 100 applicants actually but 34 got through. so from this 34 people, including me, we went to the iq test session. from that 34 people only 4 got through which was unbelievable. i really hope that i could get this scholarship because i know that this scholarship could nurture the participants into becoming a better person.

i myself, is not expecting to get this but hopefully i could. ill put my heart and soul into it if i do get this chance. well, the second stage started off by testing you on your teamwork skills. i did fairly on that but im not that sastisfied with myself. i could have done much better if i tried harder. but still, let bygone be bygone right? so we were given a topic on facebook, whether malaysian companies are allowing their workers to use   facebook or not? so my team went against it. i myself did not went against with the topic but after much deliberation we come out with a conclusion to go against it.

we were given 30 minutes to discussed and it was presentation time. i was the one who started out the presentation. i talked so fast that the people did not really understand what i said. hehe. then the judges asked a lot of question regarding our presentation.

after that, we went to the 3rd floor and went into a room secluded from the others. our team was the first to do it. we were aligned according to our names and it was provocation time. we were each provoked with questions pertaining to the q cards given to us. each had a different topic. mine was about facebook being knowledgeable or not and will it bring harm to company due to the factor of it posing threat by revealing private informations.

i wasn't provoked that much but still anything can happen right? after that we have to make a conclusion on the survey given whether it was appropriate to do the survey or not. after that it was interview time. i was really pleased with the interview as had gone according to my plan. it was nice. we finished the whole program at 6 oclock or so. nice.

with that, i end my speech. hehe

TRIAL SPM

to tell you the truth, this whole week was a sad week for me. needless to say, my result was not what i expected it to be.

THIS IS THE WORST RESULT THAT I HAD EVER GOTTEN.
 Please this be a reminder for me and for the students out there to not to struggle for trial even though it seems less important than SPM but you'll regret in the end.

part of me was trying to calm me down but my head keeps on telling me not to lie to myself and just admit it that this is the worst result and should try harder.

drawing a steadying breath, i opened that one particular website, making me listless and uneasy. i braved myself, and ignored the fact that i had had dreams of not getting what i want and it was going to disappoint me at one point. i put in my details and i clicked ENTER.

there it was, my result. :,( wish me the best of luck for SPM

Pre TRIAL

hi apparently im blogging from my college right now and considering that I have nothing to do, I might as well write something here right?

OK, now here we go, TRIAL is almost upon us yet not much preparation had been done and many had lost their concentration during the last minute. tensed and horrified by the fact that MARA is known for their high level of exam difficulty, many students have had their share of experience falling down under pressure like me for example.

- I start to give up, thinking that there is no use for me to study anymore. (its exactly like what i was during PMR)

- symptom of having a fever

- acceptance that your result is not going to be as excellent as other students

- lestless night thinking of the possibility that your upcoming result is not going to be up to your expectation

- headache

- confused and there are at times feeling a bit drowsy

seriously trial has slowly affected my life these days. there is not much that i can do except to endure every bit of the agonising session. definitely, i dont deny the fact that it baffles me how people manage to undergo this without going haywire like machines do when theyre being overused.

nevertheless, everyone had at least done their job in motivating me but none aspired me. sorry, im demotivated right now because i dont have the urge to study, to push myself to the limit. it's like that trial is nothing for me when actually, trial is also as important as the real thing, SPM. 

nothing much

a very good day !

today is going to be my last day staying in selangor because tomorrow ill be going back to terengganu. my father, he insisted me that hell be the one who sends me back to my college. well, i do agree with the idea considering the fact that my bag weights 2 tonnes of books.

speaking of books, i am still figuring out how long it will take me to finish revising all those reference books. i am indeed nervous without a doubt but it doesnt even act as catalyst to keep me studying at all. nothing can be my pushing factor, forcing me to study.

i would like try to open those books by 3 minutes later i find myself in front of the television or even sleeping. with this kind of pace, i ll never make it in time. sobs2. :,(

nevertheless, ill keep on pushing myself to the limit until i know that what ive done is enough for me to succeed in my spm later. insyaAllah. :)

late night, blogging

jauntily, i went out with my family just now. we went to a mall which i could not recall its name and i shopped for some new reference books. my dad kept on repeating of how it is so important for me to get 9A+ which i believe it is possible but an intense studying needs to be done.

nevertheless, i did also buy some clothes for myself which was wholly sponsored by my two sisters. they were happy to buy me all the things that i need and they even promise that theyll bring me again here tomorrow. hehe.

apart from that, i was thinking of studying as i have wasted 3 days before, procrastinating. it was indeed a shameful thing to do, considering that i only have 1 week to prepare myself for trial. seriously i am nervous but if i do believe that i can do it, insyaAllah anything is achievable. god almighty is really what i have left. i need to keep on praying and reciting come doa which would insyaAllah help me in the future exam.

wish for the best okay. TRIAL and after that SPM ! :))

Educating others and MYSELF

i don't know whether you still remember me or not but one thing for sure, im in dire need of your support right now ! well, in two weeks time or less ill be having this very important exam which is trial SPM. in its essence itself, trial have this meanest impact on me that i really can't have a normal day without even thinking of it. i am slightly worry and utterly nervous with this because i had not really finished studying but the clock's still ticking regardless whether im diligently studying or procrastinating. 

this is the mundane life of a malaysian student, really. they had to try their hardest to have this perfect result when actually what they are doing right now is really a waste of time. damn seriously ! example, if per say i want to be an actuarist when in its core itself, it doesnt have anything to do with chemistry at all or even physics but still we are forced to stay up late at night and revise all those hefty stuffs packed in one textbook. what a waste of time. i know, its a good thing but i envy those students who study in an international school where they have this choice in their very grasp. they can simply have the least subjects that they want or as many as they could depending on their capability. this is what i call true education where they learn for they want to become and not because they are forced to.

but still, im nobody. i can't simply go up to the principal and say what we are doing right now is a waste of time. i would be immediately expelled from the school which would be a scary nightmare for me. NO! well, but what i do know is that i still need to embrace what i have now and put it into one solemn effort that i will do my best in SPM. so do wish me the best. like seriously i need it.